Rock and Lace

5 times Agent Phil Coulson was a better fangirl than you

Okay, let's admit it, we all fangirl/boy about something(s) . And our favorite dorky agent from the Marvel universe is no exception, only he doesn't just squeal with joy every time a new Captain America trailer comes out, he goes hardcore.
So here are 5 times Agent Coulson was the ultimate fan girl:

1. That time he watched Cap, err, thaw:

2. That time he did this (We all know it was you, Phil!)

3. That time he actually "met" Cap:

4. That time he ogled:

5. That time this happened:

But don't worry, we still love you Phil! And yes, we know you didn't really die.

Be the change

(Source: http://nswcentreforvolunteering.tumblr.com/)

This is something I have been thinking about for a while. Everyone talks about wanting to meet "someone different", a "good friend" , "interesting people"...etc.We talk about how the world is going down the drain, be it anything from corrupt politics to the environment to pop music. We criticize others but forget we are part of the problem ourselves. but no one ever stops to think: why can't I be that person?
The world is full of people who are hungry for kindness. It's a truth everyone knows all too well, but unlike other problems, nobody seems to want to do something about it. Well, I have decided to put my foot down and do something about it. This is not about a self-righteous quest. I believe that we have the power to make our own reality, and the only way to do that is to actively take steps to change our situation. So let us stop lamenting our reality and change it. It doesn't matter who you are or where you are, everyone matters and everyone has something to offer. We are the movers and shakers of this world, and if you believe you can, you will. When you put something out into the universe, the universe will give it back to you.
So how about we start a campaign? Think of one thing you can do today to make this world a better place. It could be anything- literally anything, you can do to make a small ripple in the world around you, and who knows? Maybe that small ripple could be the basis for a tsunami of change. Never underestimate yourself, or anyone else. Everyone matters.
Be the person you want to meet, and soon you will find yourself attracting people like you all the time. Birds of a feather, right?
Be extraordinary, be interesting, add value to the world. Be the change you want to see in the world, and sooner or later, the world will follow.


( I do not own this image)

Love,
Rue

Happy new year and resolution

Happy new year everyone!! *confetti and whistles*
Ok I do realize this is ~~a little~~ very late, but better late than never right? Things have been kinda crazy lately. 2014 ended with a bang (not the good kind though), and I am entering 2015 all busted up with battle wounds. But, no worries, this too shall pass just like everything else does. Last year , I decided to do something new with my new year's resolutions. I noticed how every year I have this long list of things I wanna do, which I end up only sticking to for the first 2 weeks of January (if I'm lucky) then dropping like a bag of hot potatoes. Sound familiar?

So last year i decided I wanted to actually stick to my resolution and stop being a lazy bum, so I thought: baby steps; I made ONE simple resolution and decided I would dedicate my year to this one concept in its many forms. That way I didn't feel pressured to do so many things and end up giving up completely (yes, human brains are inherently stupid and sometimes you need to trick them to get them to do things). My resolution for 2014 was spreading happiness. That's it. Plain and simple. Now, that may seem like an abstract idea, but trust me when you really commit, you will find yourself thinking up new ways to stick to that one concept, and succeeding at doing them. I am happy to say I have tried this method last year and for the first time ever I can confidently say: I stuck to my New year's resolution till the very last day.
Whether it was a grandiose gesture or a simple good morning text, I found it got easier to spread happiness among my loved ones as I gained experience with time. By the end of the year, that mindset spread to strangers, and I feel I am a better person and will be continuing with this mindset. But that's enough narcissistic rambling for now......
This year I have a new resolution, and I would like to share it with the world because I think many people may relate to my situation. My resolution for 2015 is... *drum roll*
Mastery
Woohoo!! *lame dance*
Ok, what do I mean by mastery? Well, over my long 22 years of life, I have picked up many skills which, unfortunately, I have dropped uncompleted (please tell me I'm not the only one) . Whether it's those piano lessons you never completed because your teacher was creepy, or that second language you took in high school but were too much of a lazy bum to actually attempt fluency....the list goes on. I decided to re-open all my old cases of unmastered skills this year and master the living hell out of them. Okay, that was way too enthusiastic, let's try that again: This year I will attempt to master the bigger part of old unmastered skills.
So that's it! 2014 was the year of spreading happiness, and 2015 shall be the year of mastery.
I highly encourage everyone to take on a concept this year. Trust me, you will not regret it. And hey, it's an entire year to do one thing, absolutely pressure free.
I hope you enjoyed today's ramble and I will talk to you soon (and hopefully more often)

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the photos in this post.

Love,
Rue

Detox your life part I : Detoxing your heart

As I sat there thinking which post I should start with for this series, it dawned on me that I really did not know where to start. What was the most important thing to start with when trying to get a fresh start? At first I thought psshhh it's detoxing your surroundings of course ( your house, workplace..etc.) that would totally make sense right? It would greatly affect your mood and help you work on your self development clutter free. But I felt I was missing the point. Then I thought, well, maybe it's detoxing our body. After all, you DO need to be healthy to preform well. No, that's not it either. Finally I came to the conclusion that you should start with your social circle, I mean, what's the use of doing any progress if you are surrounded by people who constantly bring negativity to your life and bring you down? So it was resolved, I would start the week by talking about how to detox your life by cutting out negativity....
But something just didn't feel right. I felt all those things were important, but not the most important. The following week I had a mini- existential crisis. My life was not going as I wanted it to: my GPA was dropping faster than a comet, I was so busy that my social life was suffering, I was getting rejected from all the internships I was applying for, my love life non-existent, I was binging A LOT and breaking out like crazy and my blog was not as successful as I'd hoped. Every aspect of my life was spiraling out of control. I felt overwhelmed, depressed and inferior. How could things get so dark in a matter of 2 weeks? Then I realized, things didn't get dark in a matter of 2 weeks. It was my perspective that had changed .... And although my problems didn't get magically solved I realized that if I stayed in the mindset of " waaaah I'm a failure...waaaah I will never get anything done... waaah I'm worthless". Guess what? I WILL be a failure. I WILL never get anything done and I WILL become worthless.

So I decided that the first step that anyone should take to detoxify their life was to detoxify their heart and mind.....
Sure, it's easy enough to get caught up in the menial day-to-day problems and get overwhelmed, or blow everything way out of proportion and dramatize everything, but here's what I want to tell you:
There is always a solution

Source: http://favim.com/image/119214/

If there is a constant in life, it's change. And if we were to approach life with this mindset, we would have a lot less to worry about because we know, as the old story goes, that "this too shall pass". No matter how dark or painful your situation is, just know that it will most definitely change. The right way to deal with life's set backs is not to sit there whining and feeling sorry for yourself, it's to accept it, feel it , then move on and start working on changing your situation. A good way to illustrate my meaning is this quote from one of my personal idols, Audrey Hepburn:

"How shall I sum up my life? I think I've been particularly lucky. Does that have something to do with faith also? I know my mother always used to say, 'Good things aren't supposed to just fall in your lap. God is very generous, but he expects you to do your part first.' So you have to make that effort. But at the end of a bad time or a huge effort, I've always had - how shall I say it? - the prize at the end. My whole life shows that. "
-- Audrey Hepburn

The above was written a year ago, and back then I didn't know what else to say, so I saved my draft and forgot about it. Today, I was tempted to rewrite the entire article but then decided against it, because I think you will clearly see the difference between the beginning and end of this post. For the past year, I took my own advice and I am glad to say I have seen obvious and incredible results. My face cleared up, I graduated with high honors and am currently working on joining a graduate program, I finally know exactly what I want and my social skills have improved.
All this does not mean that I have no problems anymore. It simply means that I deal with them differently, and more effectively. That is why I encourage you to try out my method and start dealing with life's problems differently. You may not be able to choose what life throws at you (it's not always lemons, btw) but you can control how you react to it. It's easy to get overwhelmed, and it will happen, but a truly strong person is someone who reminds themselves that this too shall pass, and that they have the power to change their situation. All they need is to work on it. I am not trying to be preachy here, I'm only sharing my experience.
I believe that when you finally detox your heart and mind, everything else will follow, and you will drastically improve your life and increase your happiness.

To be more clear....
here are some (tried and true) things you can do to detox your heart today :

1) Stop worrying about what you can't control, and start focusing on what you can control.
2) Stop comparing yourself to others , only compare yourself to who you were yesterday.
3) When things get tough, accept it, feel it then move on.
4) Think about what you can give instead of what you can take.
5) Do one good deed a day.
6) Call one friend a day.
7) Baby steps will help you reach your goals.
8) Stop criticizing others and love unconditionally.
9) People make mistakes, and so do you, forgive and move on.
10) Contrary to popular belief: Life is fair, people are not.
11) Learn from the past, and move on. Plan for the future, but don't live in it. You'll get there eventually, but you'll never be here and now again.

And always remember... What's meant to happen will happen (whether by the hands of God, destiny, a series of random events, statistical probabilities or whatever makes you happy..)

This is definitely one of my longer articles. I hope this was helpful and enjoyable and you didn't get bored (if you did, I apologize, but I mean well). If you try these tips please let me know how it went, and if you have any other ideas or tips let me know. I'll talk to you soon.

Love,
Rue

The accomplished lady

In this day and age, I see many women striving to be thought of as "strong", "independent", "Smart" or even "hot", and all these adjectives are great and all, but a couple of centuries back women worked hard to be "accomplished"; a term which, I believe, if we distill its essence and apply to our modern lives would encompass all the above traits and add a certain quality to them. But before I get carried away let's first define an "accomplished woman" in the traditional sense of the word. I think the best description of this woman is given by Jane Austen in her novel Pride and Prejudice. Here's what Ms. Austen had to say about this type of woman:

“no one can be really esteemed accomplished who does not greatly surpass what is usually met with. A woman must have a thorough knowledge of music, singing, drawing, dancing, all the modern languages, to deserve the word; and besides all this, she must possess a certain something in her air and manner of walking, the tone of her voice, her address and expressions, or the word will be but half deserved.”

“All this she must possess,” added Darcy, “and to all this she must yet add something more substantial, in the improvement of her mind by extensive reading.”

Now, let's breakdown that quote, shall we?

I can easily focus on the "thorough knowledge of music, singing, drawing...etc." and rest assured these things are easily acquired, if one has the will. Instead, I will be focusing on that first sentence: " No one can be really esteemed accomplished who does not greatly surpass what is usually met with."

Take a moment to think about that....

The truth is, what Jane Austen wrote is a timeless recipe for women. It all boils down to having the basics, then adding to it something that is totally your own. That is how you become an "accomplished woman" whether in a traditional or modern sense.

Traditionally, a woman must have what is called a classical education; a curriculum that is more based on liberal arts than technicality. She must have thorough knowledge of the arts and languages, as well as the art of deportment and poise. She must be able to carry and express herself elegantly, and have the ability to navigate different social settings with grace. Austen then adds that “All this she must possess,”[ ] “and to all this she must yet add something more substantial, in the improvement of her mind by extensive reading.”

A modernistic definition of a "successful woman" would be a woman who is highly educated, independent, with a range of social skills that get her far. She has her priorities straight and goes after what she wants. Does it sound familiar?

If you look closely, and keep in mind the differences in times, you will see that the "traditionally accomplished" lady is not that different from our modern "successful woman". They are both highly educated, well-read and have social grace and charm.

So how about we merge those two definitions to try to get the best of both worlds and emerge as modern day "accomplished women".

This is not about restricting ourselves to a set of dated rules , or relinquishing our power, it's about becoming more refined and elegant. It's about not being afraid to be our most feminine selves because we know that our femininity is a strength not a weakness.

So how do we become accomplished ? There are a few basics that an accomplished lady must have:

1) A quality education:

-If you have been fortunate enough to go to college or University, that's great! , if not then you may want to get some form of higher education, and if you cannot afford it and/or have responsibilities and cannot do that then self-teaching may be a good option.

-Find a subject that you have always wanted to master, but never got around to and learn as much as you can about it and master it. You will feel proud of yourself for finally getting there, your knowledge will definitely benefit you one way or another and depending on the subject, you may have a great conversational topic in the future.

- It is preferred to have a liberal arts background ( even if self taught ) as it will help you refine your way of thinking, and become a more well-rounded person.

2) Being well-read:

As a book worm, this is one of my favorite requirements because it just gives me more room to read. I would recommend starting with the classics, then moving on to more modern literary works. But reading should not be restricted to fiction only, you should also try to make a point of reading non-fiction as well. A good place to start is biographies. Pick a historical figure/ celebrity/ politician/ super-villain that you like and read their biography. It will be a good way of gaining experience without actually going through the experience. Another way is to read articles in "The times" or "The New yorker" or anywhere else that strikes your fancy. The important thing is that you read and stay informed (p.s. Celebrity gossip does not count.)
Over the next couple of weeks, I will be posting reading lists and book recommendations that may be of use to you, so make sure you check back here.

3) Grace (physical and social)

Now, grace is a vast and detailed topic that I won't be going into in this post (that's a post for another day) , but an accomplished woman is known for her " certain something in her air and manner of walking, the tone of her voice, her address and expressions"

An accomplished woman is graceful, both physically and socially. She is a master of poise and deportment, and can carry herself with elegance through any situation. And this is one of her greatest assets, and an integral part of her charm.

If I were to compile a list of the traits of an accomplished woman, this post would be pages long. But fear not my lovelies, I will be posting in the future about how to become modern day accomplished ladies. This series will be one of self-improvement, and I will be sharing with you what I learn along the way.

I hope you enjoyed this post and I will be talking to you very soon.

Rue

5 tips to be a better conversationalist

Lately I have found myself being put into a lot of social situations where I have to not only start a conversation, but also keep it going for some duration. Now, don't get me wrong, it's not like I have just crawled from under the rock I have been living under and suddenly discovered the wonder that is the art of social interactions ( well, sort of, but not really. not my point ). The mere fact that I have freshly graduated from college means that I have been jet thrust out of my comfort zone ( my home and sanctuary for the last three years ) into a brand new world with more people of higher diversity, and a high demand for something to say.

To be honest, I started out ~~kind of~~ rusty, but with some time and a tiny bit of effort, I think I have become fairly able to navigate most situations I am put in and have good conversations with many types of people. This isn't a post about the importance of being a good conversationalist, or the benefits that come from having that talent. If I start harping on that I will never shut up, so I will defer that post for another day. Now let me share with you some pieces of wisdom that I have learned recently and have helped me tremendously. Something worth noting here is that I am not giving you quick and easy fixes that would have you snap your fingers into a great conversation. It isn't in my power to do so, but if you know someone who can let me know :) These are tips to make you inherently more engaging, and let you have something worthwhile to say in different situations. Therefore, naturally the results will show up with consistency and time. You were warned.

Now here are my tips *drum roll* :

1) Listen:

le gasp!! Here I am going on and on about how to be better at essentially "talking", and my first tip is to shut up and listen?!! Well, yes. The first important skill that most good conversationalists have is the ability to listen. And I am not talking about just staying silent as the other person talks while diabolically planning a clever response ( I so got you! ). I am talking about actually hearing out the person in front of you, thinking about what they are saying and, dare I say?, empathizing with them, or at the very least sympathizing. Nobody wants to talk to someone with a blank stare who is too busy thinking about what they are about to say. In short, active listening makes you present. And people love talking to someone who is present. It makes them feel valuable, and who doesn't like that? :)

2) Coversation is a two-way street. Respond!

So you have listened with all the attention and empathy in the world. That's great! Congratulations!, but aren't you forgetting something?

The person talking to you will probably require a response to what they have been rambling about, right? And since people are not mind readers, they will not know that you have been listening, or what your opinions are unless you actually tell them what they are. Be active, have something to say and respond to people. If you have nothing to add, just move on to a different topic, or ask questions.

3) It's all about them:

I don't know if you have noticed, but people love to talk about themselves, and they love people who hear them talk about themselves. So ask questions, get to know people. Most people have a story to tell and there are many lessons to be learned from them. On top of all that, people will appreciate your interest and you will be perceived as pretty interesting yourself.

A small rule that I think we should implement in our lives:

" The universe doesn't revolve around you. You revolve around the universe"

4) Get out of your head:

A common mistake by people trying to have a good conversation/become interesting is that they get too stuck in their own head and what they should/shouldn't be doing. Remember, great conversations_ like a lot of good things in life _ are usually spontaneous. They come naturally and effortlessly, without a rigid plan set in motion to get there. So let loose, live in the moment , and just enjoy being with the person(s) you are talking to. If you are stiff and rigid, things won't be fun for you or anyone else. Don't be a downer! And remember, nothing is worth doing that isn't fun in one way or another.

5) Have a good knowledge of things (proceed with caution)

Whether it's the latest beauty tips or the workings of quantum mechanics, it's good to have a good supply of general knowledge about a variety of topics, with more depth in the things that truly interest you. This will let you adapt to various situations and gives you the ability to talk to all kinds of people with all kinds of interests and backgrounds. It also gives you interesting conversation starters and ice breakers, while generally assisting you in avoiding some embarrassing social blunders. But I must warn you, do not take this step too far or you may accidentally end up being the annoying "know-it-all". It is impossible for one person to know everything that is to know. Embrace that. And if giving a small fact is a good conversation starter, asking someone who knows more than you about something you don't know very much about, is just as great :)

And with that I will conclude my list of tips. I hope you have enjoyed my little snapshot of infinite wisdom, and if you have any comments on these tips or any of your own, please share your infinite wisdom with me :) And remember life is too short to be taken too seriously. Take care and have fun....

Rue

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