The accomplished lady

      

      In this day and age, I see many women striving to be thought of as "strong", "independent", "Smart" or even "hot", and all these adjectives are great and all, but a couple of centuries back women worked hard to be "accomplished"; a term which, I believe, if we distill its essence and apply to our modern lives would encompass all the above traits and add a certain quality to them. But before I get carried away let's first define an "accomplished woman" in the traditional sense of the word. I think the best description of this woman is given by Jane Austen in her novel Pride and Prejudice. Here's what Ms. Austen had to say about this type of woman:

“no one can be really esteemed accomplished who does not greatly surpass what is usually met with.  A woman must have a thorough knowledge of music, singing, drawing, dancing, all the modern languages, to deserve the word; and besides all this, she must possess a certain something in her air and manner of walking, the tone of her voice, her address and expressions, or the word will be but half deserved.”

“All this she must possess,” added Darcy, “and to all this she must yet add something more substantial, in the improvement of her mind by extensive reading.”

Now, let's breakdown that quote, shall we? 

I can easily focus on the "thorough knowledge of music, singing, drawing...etc." and rest assured these things are easily acquired, if one has the will. Instead, I will be focusing on that first sentence: " No one can be really esteemed accomplished who does not greatly surpass what is usually met with."

Take a moment to think about that....

The truth is, what Jane Austen wrote is a timeless recipe for women. It all boils down to having the basics, then adding to it something that is totally your own. That is how you become an "accomplished woman" whether in a traditional or modern sense.

  Traditionally, a woman must have what is called a classical education; a curriculum that is more based on liberal arts than technicality. She must have thorough knowledge of the arts and languages, as well as the art of deportment and poise. She must be able to carry and express herself elegantly, and have the ability to navigate different social settings with grace. Austen then adds that “All this she must possess,”[ ] “and to all this she must yet add something more substantial, in the improvement of her mind by extensive reading.”

A modernistic definition of a "successful woman" would be a woman who is highly educated, independent, with a range of social skills that get her far. She has her priorities straight and goes after what she wants. Does it sound familiar?

If you look closely, and keep in mind the differences in times, you will see that the "traditionally accomplished" lady is not that different from our modern "successful woman". They are both highly educated, well-read and have social grace and charm.

So how about we merge those two definitions to try to get the best of both worlds and emerge as modern day "accomplished women".

This is not about restricting ourselves to a set of dated rules , or relinquishing our power, it's about becoming more refined and elegant. It's about not being afraid to be our most feminine selves because we know that our femininity is a strength not a weakness.

So how do we become accomplished ? There are a few basics that an accomplished lady must have:

1) A quality education:

-If you have been fortunate enough to go to college or University, that's great! , if not then you may want to get some form of higher education, and if you cannot afford it and/or have responsibilities and cannot do that then self-teaching may be a good option.

 -Find a subject that you have always wanted to master, but never got around to and learn as much as you can about it and master it. You will feel proud of yourself for finally getting there, your knowledge will definitely benefit you one way or another and depending on the subject, you may have a great conversational topic in the future.

- It is preferred to have a liberal arts background ( even if self taught ) as it will help you refine your way of thinking, and become a more well-rounded person.


2) Being well-read:

As a book worm, this is one of my favorite requirements because it just gives me more room to read. I would recommend starting with the classics, then moving on to more modern literary works. But reading should not be restricted to fiction only, you should also try to make a point of reading non-fiction as well. A good place to start is biographies. Pick a historical figure/ celebrity/ politician/ super-villain that you like and read their biography. It will be a good way of gaining experience without actually going through the experience. Another way is to read articles in "The times" or "The New yorker" or anywhere else that strikes your fancy. The important thing is that you read and stay informed (p.s. Celebrity gossip does not count.)
Over the next couple of weeks, I will be posting reading lists and book recommendations that may be of use to you, so make sure you check back here.


3) Grace (physical and social)

Now, grace is a vast and detailed topic that I won't be going into in this post (that's a post for another day) , but an accomplished woman is known for her " certain something in her air and manner of walking, the tone of her voice, her address and expressions"

An accomplished woman is graceful, both physically and socially. She is a master of poise and deportment, and can carry herself with elegance through any situation. And this is one of her greatest assets, and an integral part of her charm.

If I were to compile a list of the traits of an accomplished woman, this post would be pages long. But fear not my lovelies, I will be posting in the future about how to become modern day accomplished ladies. This series will be one of self-improvement, and I will be sharing with you what I learn along the way.

I hope you enjoyed this post and I will be talking to you very soon.

Rue