Rock and Lace

Showing posts with label Personal development. Show all posts

Be the change

(Source: http://nswcentreforvolunteering.tumblr.com/)

This is something I have been thinking about for a while. Everyone talks about wanting to meet "someone different", a "good friend" , "interesting people"...etc.We talk about how the world is going down the drain, be it anything from corrupt politics to the environment to pop music. We criticize others but forget we are part of the problem ourselves. but no one ever stops to think: why can't I be that person?
The world is full of people who are hungry for kindness. It's a truth everyone knows all too well, but unlike other problems, nobody seems to want to do something about it. Well, I have decided to put my foot down and do something about it. This is not about a self-righteous quest. I believe that we have the power to make our own reality, and the only way to do that is to actively take steps to change our situation. So let us stop lamenting our reality and change it. It doesn't matter who you are or where you are, everyone matters and everyone has something to offer. We are the movers and shakers of this world, and if you believe you can, you will. When you put something out into the universe, the universe will give it back to you.
So how about we start a campaign? Think of one thing you can do today to make this world a better place. It could be anything- literally anything, you can do to make a small ripple in the world around you, and who knows? Maybe that small ripple could be the basis for a tsunami of change. Never underestimate yourself, or anyone else. Everyone matters.
Be the person you want to meet, and soon you will find yourself attracting people like you all the time. Birds of a feather, right?
Be extraordinary, be interesting, add value to the world. Be the change you want to see in the world, and sooner or later, the world will follow.


( I do not own this image)

Love,
Rue

Happy new year and resolution

Happy new year everyone!! *confetti and whistles*
Ok I do realize this is ~~a little~~ very late, but better late than never right? Things have been kinda crazy lately. 2014 ended with a bang (not the good kind though), and I am entering 2015 all busted up with battle wounds. But, no worries, this too shall pass just like everything else does. Last year , I decided to do something new with my new year's resolutions. I noticed how every year I have this long list of things I wanna do, which I end up only sticking to for the first 2 weeks of January (if I'm lucky) then dropping like a bag of hot potatoes. Sound familiar?

So last year i decided I wanted to actually stick to my resolution and stop being a lazy bum, so I thought: baby steps; I made ONE simple resolution and decided I would dedicate my year to this one concept in its many forms. That way I didn't feel pressured to do so many things and end up giving up completely (yes, human brains are inherently stupid and sometimes you need to trick them to get them to do things). My resolution for 2014 was spreading happiness. That's it. Plain and simple. Now, that may seem like an abstract idea, but trust me when you really commit, you will find yourself thinking up new ways to stick to that one concept, and succeeding at doing them. I am happy to say I have tried this method last year and for the first time ever I can confidently say: I stuck to my New year's resolution till the very last day.
Whether it was a grandiose gesture or a simple good morning text, I found it got easier to spread happiness among my loved ones as I gained experience with time. By the end of the year, that mindset spread to strangers, and I feel I am a better person and will be continuing with this mindset. But that's enough narcissistic rambling for now......
This year I have a new resolution, and I would like to share it with the world because I think many people may relate to my situation. My resolution for 2015 is... *drum roll*
Mastery
Woohoo!! *lame dance*
Ok, what do I mean by mastery? Well, over my long 22 years of life, I have picked up many skills which, unfortunately, I have dropped uncompleted (please tell me I'm not the only one) . Whether it's those piano lessons you never completed because your teacher was creepy, or that second language you took in high school but were too much of a lazy bum to actually attempt fluency....the list goes on. I decided to re-open all my old cases of unmastered skills this year and master the living hell out of them. Okay, that was way too enthusiastic, let's try that again: This year I will attempt to master the bigger part of old unmastered skills.
So that's it! 2014 was the year of spreading happiness, and 2015 shall be the year of mastery.
I highly encourage everyone to take on a concept this year. Trust me, you will not regret it. And hey, it's an entire year to do one thing, absolutely pressure free.
I hope you enjoyed today's ramble and I will talk to you soon (and hopefully more often)

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the photos in this post.

Love,
Rue

Detox your life part I : Detoxing your heart

As I sat there thinking which post I should start with for this series, it dawned on me that I really did not know where to start. What was the most important thing to start with when trying to get a fresh start? At first I thought psshhh it's detoxing your surroundings of course ( your house, workplace..etc.) that would totally make sense right? It would greatly affect your mood and help you work on your self development clutter free. But I felt I was missing the point. Then I thought, well, maybe it's detoxing our body. After all, you DO need to be healthy to preform well. No, that's not it either. Finally I came to the conclusion that you should start with your social circle, I mean, what's the use of doing any progress if you are surrounded by people who constantly bring negativity to your life and bring you down? So it was resolved, I would start the week by talking about how to detox your life by cutting out negativity....
But something just didn't feel right. I felt all those things were important, but not the most important. The following week I had a mini- existential crisis. My life was not going as I wanted it to: my GPA was dropping faster than a comet, I was so busy that my social life was suffering, I was getting rejected from all the internships I was applying for, my love life non-existent, I was binging A LOT and breaking out like crazy and my blog was not as successful as I'd hoped. Every aspect of my life was spiraling out of control. I felt overwhelmed, depressed and inferior. How could things get so dark in a matter of 2 weeks? Then I realized, things didn't get dark in a matter of 2 weeks. It was my perspective that had changed .... And although my problems didn't get magically solved I realized that if I stayed in the mindset of " waaaah I'm a failure...waaaah I will never get anything done... waaah I'm worthless". Guess what? I WILL be a failure. I WILL never get anything done and I WILL become worthless.

So I decided that the first step that anyone should take to detoxify their life was to detoxify their heart and mind.....
Sure, it's easy enough to get caught up in the menial day-to-day problems and get overwhelmed, or blow everything way out of proportion and dramatize everything, but here's what I want to tell you:
There is always a solution

Source: http://favim.com/image/119214/

If there is a constant in life, it's change. And if we were to approach life with this mindset, we would have a lot less to worry about because we know, as the old story goes, that "this too shall pass". No matter how dark or painful your situation is, just know that it will most definitely change. The right way to deal with life's set backs is not to sit there whining and feeling sorry for yourself, it's to accept it, feel it , then move on and start working on changing your situation. A good way to illustrate my meaning is this quote from one of my personal idols, Audrey Hepburn:

"How shall I sum up my life? I think I've been particularly lucky. Does that have something to do with faith also? I know my mother always used to say, 'Good things aren't supposed to just fall in your lap. God is very generous, but he expects you to do your part first.' So you have to make that effort. But at the end of a bad time or a huge effort, I've always had - how shall I say it? - the prize at the end. My whole life shows that. "
-- Audrey Hepburn

The above was written a year ago, and back then I didn't know what else to say, so I saved my draft and forgot about it. Today, I was tempted to rewrite the entire article but then decided against it, because I think you will clearly see the difference between the beginning and end of this post. For the past year, I took my own advice and I am glad to say I have seen obvious and incredible results. My face cleared up, I graduated with high honors and am currently working on joining a graduate program, I finally know exactly what I want and my social skills have improved.
All this does not mean that I have no problems anymore. It simply means that I deal with them differently, and more effectively. That is why I encourage you to try out my method and start dealing with life's problems differently. You may not be able to choose what life throws at you (it's not always lemons, btw) but you can control how you react to it. It's easy to get overwhelmed, and it will happen, but a truly strong person is someone who reminds themselves that this too shall pass, and that they have the power to change their situation. All they need is to work on it. I am not trying to be preachy here, I'm only sharing my experience.
I believe that when you finally detox your heart and mind, everything else will follow, and you will drastically improve your life and increase your happiness.

To be more clear....
here are some (tried and true) things you can do to detox your heart today :

1) Stop worrying about what you can't control, and start focusing on what you can control.
2) Stop comparing yourself to others , only compare yourself to who you were yesterday.
3) When things get tough, accept it, feel it then move on.
4) Think about what you can give instead of what you can take.
5) Do one good deed a day.
6) Call one friend a day.
7) Baby steps will help you reach your goals.
8) Stop criticizing others and love unconditionally.
9) People make mistakes, and so do you, forgive and move on.
10) Contrary to popular belief: Life is fair, people are not.
11) Learn from the past, and move on. Plan for the future, but don't live in it. You'll get there eventually, but you'll never be here and now again.

And always remember... What's meant to happen will happen (whether by the hands of God, destiny, a series of random events, statistical probabilities or whatever makes you happy..)

This is definitely one of my longer articles. I hope this was helpful and enjoyable and you didn't get bored (if you did, I apologize, but I mean well). If you try these tips please let me know how it went, and if you have any other ideas or tips let me know. I'll talk to you soon.

Love,
Rue

The accomplished lady

In this day and age, I see many women striving to be thought of as "strong", "independent", "Smart" or even "hot", and all these adjectives are great and all, but a couple of centuries back women worked hard to be "accomplished"; a term which, I believe, if we distill its essence and apply to our modern lives would encompass all the above traits and add a certain quality to them. But before I get carried away let's first define an "accomplished woman" in the traditional sense of the word. I think the best description of this woman is given by Jane Austen in her novel Pride and Prejudice. Here's what Ms. Austen had to say about this type of woman:

“no one can be really esteemed accomplished who does not greatly surpass what is usually met with. A woman must have a thorough knowledge of music, singing, drawing, dancing, all the modern languages, to deserve the word; and besides all this, she must possess a certain something in her air and manner of walking, the tone of her voice, her address and expressions, or the word will be but half deserved.”

“All this she must possess,” added Darcy, “and to all this she must yet add something more substantial, in the improvement of her mind by extensive reading.”

Now, let's breakdown that quote, shall we?

I can easily focus on the "thorough knowledge of music, singing, drawing...etc." and rest assured these things are easily acquired, if one has the will. Instead, I will be focusing on that first sentence: " No one can be really esteemed accomplished who does not greatly surpass what is usually met with."

Take a moment to think about that....

The truth is, what Jane Austen wrote is a timeless recipe for women. It all boils down to having the basics, then adding to it something that is totally your own. That is how you become an "accomplished woman" whether in a traditional or modern sense.

Traditionally, a woman must have what is called a classical education; a curriculum that is more based on liberal arts than technicality. She must have thorough knowledge of the arts and languages, as well as the art of deportment and poise. She must be able to carry and express herself elegantly, and have the ability to navigate different social settings with grace. Austen then adds that “All this she must possess,”[ ] “and to all this she must yet add something more substantial, in the improvement of her mind by extensive reading.”

A modernistic definition of a "successful woman" would be a woman who is highly educated, independent, with a range of social skills that get her far. She has her priorities straight and goes after what she wants. Does it sound familiar?

If you look closely, and keep in mind the differences in times, you will see that the "traditionally accomplished" lady is not that different from our modern "successful woman". They are both highly educated, well-read and have social grace and charm.

So how about we merge those two definitions to try to get the best of both worlds and emerge as modern day "accomplished women".

This is not about restricting ourselves to a set of dated rules , or relinquishing our power, it's about becoming more refined and elegant. It's about not being afraid to be our most feminine selves because we know that our femininity is a strength not a weakness.

So how do we become accomplished ? There are a few basics that an accomplished lady must have:

1) A quality education:

-If you have been fortunate enough to go to college or University, that's great! , if not then you may want to get some form of higher education, and if you cannot afford it and/or have responsibilities and cannot do that then self-teaching may be a good option.

-Find a subject that you have always wanted to master, but never got around to and learn as much as you can about it and master it. You will feel proud of yourself for finally getting there, your knowledge will definitely benefit you one way or another and depending on the subject, you may have a great conversational topic in the future.

- It is preferred to have a liberal arts background ( even if self taught ) as it will help you refine your way of thinking, and become a more well-rounded person.

2) Being well-read:

As a book worm, this is one of my favorite requirements because it just gives me more room to read. I would recommend starting with the classics, then moving on to more modern literary works. But reading should not be restricted to fiction only, you should also try to make a point of reading non-fiction as well. A good place to start is biographies. Pick a historical figure/ celebrity/ politician/ super-villain that you like and read their biography. It will be a good way of gaining experience without actually going through the experience. Another way is to read articles in "The times" or "The New yorker" or anywhere else that strikes your fancy. The important thing is that you read and stay informed (p.s. Celebrity gossip does not count.)
Over the next couple of weeks, I will be posting reading lists and book recommendations that may be of use to you, so make sure you check back here.

3) Grace (physical and social)

Now, grace is a vast and detailed topic that I won't be going into in this post (that's a post for another day) , but an accomplished woman is known for her " certain something in her air and manner of walking, the tone of her voice, her address and expressions"

An accomplished woman is graceful, both physically and socially. She is a master of poise and deportment, and can carry herself with elegance through any situation. And this is one of her greatest assets, and an integral part of her charm.

If I were to compile a list of the traits of an accomplished woman, this post would be pages long. But fear not my lovelies, I will be posting in the future about how to become modern day accomplished ladies. This series will be one of self-improvement, and I will be sharing with you what I learn along the way.

I hope you enjoyed this post and I will be talking to you very soon.

Rue

5 tips to be a better conversationalist

Lately I have found myself being put into a lot of social situations where I have to not only start a conversation, but also keep it going for some duration. Now, don't get me wrong, it's not like I have just crawled from under the rock I have been living under and suddenly discovered the wonder that is the art of social interactions ( well, sort of, but not really. not my point ). The mere fact that I have freshly graduated from college means that I have been jet thrust out of my comfort zone ( my home and sanctuary for the last three years ) into a brand new world with more people of higher diversity, and a high demand for something to say.

To be honest, I started out ~~kind of~~ rusty, but with some time and a tiny bit of effort, I think I have become fairly able to navigate most situations I am put in and have good conversations with many types of people. This isn't a post about the importance of being a good conversationalist, or the benefits that come from having that talent. If I start harping on that I will never shut up, so I will defer that post for another day. Now let me share with you some pieces of wisdom that I have learned recently and have helped me tremendously. Something worth noting here is that I am not giving you quick and easy fixes that would have you snap your fingers into a great conversation. It isn't in my power to do so, but if you know someone who can let me know :) These are tips to make you inherently more engaging, and let you have something worthwhile to say in different situations. Therefore, naturally the results will show up with consistency and time. You were warned.

Now here are my tips *drum roll* :

1) Listen:

le gasp!! Here I am going on and on about how to be better at essentially "talking", and my first tip is to shut up and listen?!! Well, yes. The first important skill that most good conversationalists have is the ability to listen. And I am not talking about just staying silent as the other person talks while diabolically planning a clever response ( I so got you! ). I am talking about actually hearing out the person in front of you, thinking about what they are saying and, dare I say?, empathizing with them, or at the very least sympathizing. Nobody wants to talk to someone with a blank stare who is too busy thinking about what they are about to say. In short, active listening makes you present. And people love talking to someone who is present. It makes them feel valuable, and who doesn't like that? :)

2) Coversation is a two-way street. Respond!

So you have listened with all the attention and empathy in the world. That's great! Congratulations!, but aren't you forgetting something?

The person talking to you will probably require a response to what they have been rambling about, right? And since people are not mind readers, they will not know that you have been listening, or what your opinions are unless you actually tell them what they are. Be active, have something to say and respond to people. If you have nothing to add, just move on to a different topic, or ask questions.

3) It's all about them:

I don't know if you have noticed, but people love to talk about themselves, and they love people who hear them talk about themselves. So ask questions, get to know people. Most people have a story to tell and there are many lessons to be learned from them. On top of all that, people will appreciate your interest and you will be perceived as pretty interesting yourself.

A small rule that I think we should implement in our lives:

" The universe doesn't revolve around you. You revolve around the universe"

4) Get out of your head:

A common mistake by people trying to have a good conversation/become interesting is that they get too stuck in their own head and what they should/shouldn't be doing. Remember, great conversations_ like a lot of good things in life _ are usually spontaneous. They come naturally and effortlessly, without a rigid plan set in motion to get there. So let loose, live in the moment , and just enjoy being with the person(s) you are talking to. If you are stiff and rigid, things won't be fun for you or anyone else. Don't be a downer! And remember, nothing is worth doing that isn't fun in one way or another.

5) Have a good knowledge of things (proceed with caution)

Whether it's the latest beauty tips or the workings of quantum mechanics, it's good to have a good supply of general knowledge about a variety of topics, with more depth in the things that truly interest you. This will let you adapt to various situations and gives you the ability to talk to all kinds of people with all kinds of interests and backgrounds. It also gives you interesting conversation starters and ice breakers, while generally assisting you in avoiding some embarrassing social blunders. But I must warn you, do not take this step too far or you may accidentally end up being the annoying "know-it-all". It is impossible for one person to know everything that is to know. Embrace that. And if giving a small fact is a good conversation starter, asking someone who knows more than you about something you don't know very much about, is just as great :)

And with that I will conclude my list of tips. I hope you have enjoyed my little snapshot of infinite wisdom, and if you have any comments on these tips or any of your own, please share your infinite wisdom with me :) And remember life is too short to be taken too seriously. Take care and have fun....

Rue

On never losing yourself.....

Never lose yourself for other people. How many times have you heard that huh? But have you ever really thought about it? You know how sometimes you might know something but start to realize it after a while? Well, this is what happened to me. I always knew that one should not change who they are just to impress people but I never really realized it until recently. You see, a few years ago, that's exactly what I was doing, and as the years went by I managed to escape my vicious cycle of self-degradation, But I guess the concept just lingered in my subconscious and never really sunk in, until recently........

Source: http://goo.gl/fy4us

You see, these last couple of months I have been watching other people in my life changing who they are to get people to like them, and there is nothing I can do about it. But it kinda gives you a new perspective on things where you think to yourself : "Is that what I looked like? " and then you see the point you've been missing all along.
I'm not writing this post to preach to you or tell you that I am all wise and knowing. I am writing this post to let you know that most of us have been there, and it's OK. It's never too late to bounce back, and to warn those of you who have been fortunate enough not to fall in this trap to NOT fall into it.
My bottom line is: Never change who you are to get that perfect guy/ friend / job.

Now let me elaborate... Think about it for a second, if this guy is perfect. He is everything you ever wanted and more, but in order to get him you have to be someone else, then maybe this guy isn't so perfect after all. How can he be the perfect guy for you when he doesn't even like YOU?!
The same goes for that awesome friend who loves you and supports you, oh but wait! , she/he is NOT loving you or supporting you, they are loving and supporting the person you are pretending to be. And guess who that is? NOT YOU!!!!
That dream job that requires you to give up your beliefs and settle for a different moral code is more of a nightmare than a dream.... You see the problem with the above examples is that once you give up yourself to get something/someone, you will never really be happy even if you get them. You will end up living in a big play where you are the only one who is acting in it. The years pass by, and one day you wonder why after getting everything you ever wanted you are still unfulfilled. Well, simply because you got what you never really got what you wanted. Sure, it looks like you have everything but that's as far as it goes.. LOOKS.

Warning!!!
Before I get run away by myself I would like to state that "being yourself" is absolutely NO excuse to egotistically sit there making excuses for your mistakes and not taking responsibility for them just saying: "I am who I am.. take or leave it" . That is just selfish and weak and it masks an inability to take responsibility for one's actions.
There is nothing wrong with trying to become a better person than you were yesterday. That is actually admirable and everyone should be encouraged to do so for their own happiness and well-being. The REAL problem is when someone starts changing who they are, what they believe in, their dreams, likes, opinions...etc. only to IMPRESS someone or get something.
I think you can see the difference here.......

So you may ask me now, well that's all great in theory but how can I apply that to my life?I'm glad you asked....
First of all - and this is a very important step - you need to know that you cannot please everyone, and not everyone will like you, and IT'S OK. You don't need to please everyone and you don't need everyone to like you in order to be happy. The only person you need is YOU. If you please yourself ( again not in an egotistical selfish way, see warning ) and you like yourself, only then will you be able to be truly happy. You are your greatest asset, and you are the most valuable thing you own. Don't devalue yourself for something that is not worth it.

Second. you need to be able to differentiate between things that are worth your time and effort, and things that just look like it. A rule of thumb here is to always ask yourself, does this thing make me feel drained/uncomfortable/stressed/trapped? Guess what, chances are you are doing something for the wrong reasons. Again, this is NO EXCUSE to be lazy. You know what I'm talking about. When you are doing things for the right reasons, you may get tired or stressed ( hello exams ) but it will always FEEL right, because it's what you want and you are willing to put in an effort to get it. But when it's for the wrong reasons you will always end up with a broken heart and nothing to get from it.

Third, get to know yourself more. It's a sad fact that many people go about their lives without really knowing themselves, and trust me it has devastating effects. You need to be your own best friend because when you have no one else to support you, you need to be able to support yourself.
[ for more on this point click here ]

Fourth, Learn the value of RESPECT. A lot of women unfortunately overlook this very important and vital part of our relationships, which is respect. Love without respect is just infatuation, friendship without respect is just mutual interest, an employee without respect is just an unofficial slave. I can go on but you get the point. We need respect in order to get what we want and deserve in life. And respect is NOT a given it's something that you earn. So that woman who runs around desperately clinging to every guy she meets and lowering her own value by pausing her entire life just to please him and wait on him hand and foot will never earn his respect, the respect she deserves.
So learn to respect yourself, and act like it and you will find yourself compelling other people to respect you as well.

Fifth, don't take life too seriously. It's all gonna pass....

And remember, if you change yourself to impress the people who will like someone else you are missing out on the people who will actually LOVE you......
Stay happy

Rue

Happiness is......

Happiness is...

-Lighting a scented candle and listening to music

-Making a cup of coffee and reading a book

-Playing and cuddling with your cat

-Spending a quiet evening with your family

-Going crazy with your friends

-Walking in the woods

-Watching the moon light up the night

-Making a child happy

-Laughing from your heart

-Love's first kiss

-Seeing the world

-Pampering yourself

-Having a lazy day

-Baking something that is actually edible

-Freedom

-Having a rose garden (or pot)

-Being thankful to be alive

-Love

Happiness is Quiet........

Rue

Detoxify your life!

Hello my little birdies. I hope your day is going well. :)
This year I have made the decision to seriously start working on myself constantly in order to become a better me, not just make endless plans and resolutions then end up doing nothing. My goal this year is to stop planning and start DOING, and I have made some progress over the last 3 months, but I'm only getting started. So I thought what better way to keep myself motivated and pushing forward than to share with you guys?
This is why I am starting this 5 part series about how to Detoxify your life.

Source: http://goo.gl/EhfdM

We have all been there haven't we? At that point in our lives where we feel like we are just stuck where we are and long for a change. Where we are just sick and tired of all the stress and clutter in our heads and we feel like we are just drowning. Or maybe you are just trying to better yourself in general. A good way to do this is to get a fresh start.....

And that's exactly what I will be doing in this series. I will be posting tips about how to get a fresh start in different areas of your life:

- Socially

-Mentally and spiritually

-Health and body

-Beauty wise

-Your home

I will be posting about these areas over the next few weeks so stay tuned :) :) That's all or now and I will talk to you soon.

xoxoxo

Rue

The strength of vulnerability

Source: http://favim.com/image/94047/

Imagine you are standing on a train platform, you are all alone with your bag in hand and you heart fluttering. You don't know when that train will come or where it will take you. Yet, you are leaving everything behind and willing to take the risk to wait for it because you know that if it arrives it will be everything you ever hoped for, and it will be worth it.
This is just a simplified way of describing vulnerability....

But before I get carried away with myself I'd like to say Hello my lovelies! I have missed you so much, and I'm sorry for disappearing A-gain.
So back to the main topic of today which is vulnerability and it's importance. Now, when I say vulnerability, the first impression that comes to a lot of people's mind is negative. They view vulnerability as something to be AVOIDED and fought, and that being vulnerable will lead you to your certain doom. Well, that's not always the case, but let me first tell you what it means to be vulnerable.
Vulnerability is NOT:
weakness
neediness
being gullible or naive
stupidity
Letting everyone know everything about you

Vulnerability actually is: being open and honest, yet respect boundaries and privacy. It's about loving freely and openly without conditions and guarantees and most importantly, it's about allowing yourself to FEEL.
Some o you may read this and think "what do you mean? we already have feelings" . Well, what I mean is not having feelings because surely everyone has them, I'm talking about allowing yourself to completely feel and experience your emotions, both good AND bad. To immerse yourself in the feeling and let it flow through you entire body, laugh if you want to, cry if you need to but don't try to numb it or shun it away and just allow yourself to feel. This is especially important to us women because repressing our emotions can take its toll on us big time. You see, Feminine energy is all about emotions and openness to these emotions. This means the willingness to be vulnerable and letting down your walls and barbed wires in order to experience life. Is it scary? sure. Could you get hurt? probably. Is it worth it? 100% most definitely.
How can a woman be happy, free-spirited and dreamy if she's too busy fighting off the world? How can she fall in love if she just won't let anyone in?
This brings me to another aspect of vulnerability which is the fact that it actually takes real strength to be vulnerable....
It's easy to put up walls, and it's easy to be tough and rough, but it takes a truly strong and confident person to be vulnerable. Actually, let me go ahead here and say that vulnerability IS freedom.
We have all heard that the most successful people in life are the one who are willing to take risks. Well, I'm telling you that the most successful people in life are the ones who allow themselves to be vulnerable because that act of letting go and taking a risk means that a person will be vulnerable. You see where I'm going with this? And let me tell you something else, have you ever heard the phrase "face your fears" ? Vulnerability allows you to do just that because being vulnerable means admitting your weaknesses, and your fears and being OK with them instead of hiding away from them. Only then will you be free to live life uninhibited and unafraid of what it might throw at you because you will be ready for it and you will accept it no matter what.

Now, for another aspect which is men. This is a big one. A lot of us nowadays live our lives in the " I can take care of it, I don't need a man" mentality. I can't begin to tell you how destructive that is, and it's all because of the way feminine and masculine energies work. By default, feminine energy is more vulnerable and submissive than the harsh dominant get-it-done masculine energy. And that's why men LOVE women who allow themselves to be vulnerable with them, and has the courage to be open and unguarded. You see. a woman like that is infinitely more feminine than a guarded woman who walks around with her "bitch" face on all day. This kind of woman is unapproachable, she's scary. In addition, she is not connecting therefore she will never receive love because she has a darn force field around her that bounces off every approach that comes her way. I know a good percentage of you will be resistant to this idea because we were conditioned from a young age to push away our vulnerability and especially around men because being vulnerable will make them use you, right? WRONG!! And let me give you an example to show you what mean: A successful woman with a high power executive job who can emasculate the toughest man out there but goes home to her Haagen-dazs in her lonely apartment, and gets cheated on and dumped by boyfriend after boyfriend. Sound familiar? Now here's another case, a successful woman with a high power executive job who is passionate about her job and able to lead effectively and efficiently, but is willing to let her tough armour hang once working hours are over, She's willing to just let go, have fun and let her man take the lead. That sounds A LOT better doesn't it. It's because the woman in the second example allows herself to be vulnerable. That doesn't mean dumbing herself down or acting like she's incapable, it just means that she trusts her man enough to let him take the lead. She is opening herself to him and allowing herself to be vulnerable, and he appreciates it deeply because men love to be needed, and that's precisely what you are giving him when you become vulnerable. You make him feel needed. And this will trigger a response in him to want to love and take care of you because he feels like he will be your knight in shining armour. And isn't that what a lot of us want in the first place? :) :)

So remember my lovelies, Vulnerability is NOT a sign of weakness or stupidity. It's actually one of your greatest feminine powers and it would be very sad if you let it go to waste. So go on, allow yourself to be vulnerable and watch as doors open up to you that you never even knew existed.

And now I will leave you with this great video talking about the power of vulnerability. I hope you enjoyed this post.
Lots of love
xoxo
Rue

My first mini achievement of 2013: Pasta Alfredo

Hello everyone I hope you having a great day today.
So far 2013 has been good to me and as a New year's resolution I decided to try new things I haven't tried before. So where better place to start than cooking? Of course, I am notorious for burning anything and everything that I set off to cook, even soup! ( don't ask ). So it was quite the challenge for me to find something I can cook without burning it, or myself, or my cat. Anyways, like every average Joe out there I started my quest for easy recipes on none other than Google search, which ended with naught! All the so-called "easy" recipes were either too hard or the required ingredients were too hard to get for me. So I started getting discouraged, but then I remembered a Youtube channel a friend of mine recommended a couple of months earlier so I said to myself what do I have to lose? So I searched for this chef and watched a couple of her videos and her pasta Alfredo was delightfully easy AND the ingredients were easy to get a hold of! Jackpot!! So I went to my kitchen and I made and attempt to make pasta Alfredo. The results?
Drum roll please......

Tadaaa!!! My first ever non-crappy edible dish. I was so proud of myself when I made this I actually did a mini embarrassing victory dance. Of course, being a rebel I did not stick to the recipe and I made my own adjustments which I will mention after you see the actual recipe...

Ok so here are my adjustments:

I didn't exactly use powdered garlic and onion, instead I used one garlic clove veery thinly cut and it was just as good. I did make it another time using the powders and it tastes great both ways.
I didn't use heavy cream, instead I put one tbsp of flour and one mug (yes that's a measurement.. because I said so) of full cream milk. Hey, it gives the same result!
I added other types of cheese next to the Parmesan cheese. Well, it wasn't cheesy enough for me so I had to improvise.

So I hope you guys try out this recipe and let me know how it turned out..

I will talk to you soon

xoxo

Rue

A vintage guide to glamour

Hello everyone I hope you are all having an amazing day today!
If you have been reading my blog you will discover that I have a bit of a vintage fascination. I truly respect and adore our grandmothers and their lifestyles and I actually feel they knew a great deal more about happiness than us despite having less luxury and means. That's why I believe we should look at them and learn from their lives and try to incorporate their knowledge in our modern lives.
The ladies or yesteryear all seemed to be, well, ladies and they were glamorous as well. So why is it that those women seemed to have that extra quality that is sadly lacking in so many women today?
This brings me to the first vintage tip: Embrace being a woman

Marilyn Monroe was an expert on embracing her femininity
[source:thewideeyed.wordpress.com ]

It's true! Despite our view on women of the past as being oppressed and miserable, these women knew what it meant to embrace their femininity and womanhood, and I'm not talking about frilly pastel dresses with bows and flowers, those are personal taste but I'm talking about the joie de vivre that was common amongst women. I once read a quote that said: " Women understand the value of life, they give it " and this quote seemed to sum up the essence of femininity. Women are nurturers and givers of life, and to embrace your femininity is to give and have an abundance of love that overflows into every aspect of your life.

[source: lt-arts.deviantart.com ]

Not only were women of the past more nurturing, they also knew how to Keep it simple.

Today we live in a world of excess. We have an excess in everything, and that leads us to over indulge in things we don't really need. The solution to this problem: Keep it simple! Do you really need a 10th pair of pumps? even if they are in a "trendy color". Do you really need yet another cream/lotion/lipgloss? Does your body really need that extra large double cheeseburger meal that you will probably throw half of in the trash? Ask yourself questions like these and answer them honestly (no cheating girls!) You will be surprised at how little you actually need. Now, don't get me wrong, I for one adore luxury and we are talking about being glamorous here so I'm not saying throw away all your stuff and live in a cottage in the woods ( ok, maybe that was a bit extreme but you get my point ). All I'm saying is to keep the luxuries in your life, well, luxuries. This means they should be in small portions that you can truly enjoy and appreciate. So bottom line, a little bit of luxury = good, excess and over indulgence = bad.
This concept also goes hand in hand with giving and nurturing, because when you stop living in excess, you start having more to give to people who actually need things.

Now I don't like posting very long boring posts so I will keep it simple now and leave you to think about the above to tips :)
And now for a little indulgence: If you are like me, then you love everything beauty, fashion,skincare..etc related. Here's a really nice educational video (Sorry if the quality isn't exactly HD) from the 40s talking about good grooming habits, skincare, fashion and other things. I personally found it adorable to watch and hey, you might even pick up a tip or two :)

Well that's all for today's post I hope you enjoyed it and that it was helpful and I will talk to you soon.
lots of love
xoxo
Rue

Inspiration profile: Audrey Hepburn

Hello my lovelies! I hope you are doing very well today.
Personally, I believe that it's very important to learn from the past and take note of the mistakes of others in order not to repeat those mistakes ourselves, and a good place to start is by contemplating the lives of great and influential people in history who made great contributions to this world. And if you are anything like me and you are trying to grow into your more feminine, classy lady-like self then where better place to start than the life of Audrey Hepburn.

When most of us think of grace, poise and charm, Audrey's image almost immediately pops up in our heads. Why? Because Audrey Hepburn was the epitome of grace, elegance and poise. So much so that her name has become virtually synonymous with these traits.
Now I must warn you that this post will not be free of bias since I have had a girl-crush on Audrey for so long I can't even remember when it started.
Audrey Hepburn was not only an actress. She was also a fashion icon, mother, humanitarian and wife. She was a true lady.
To find out more about Audrey's amazing life check out this biography:

Lessons to be learned from Audrey Hepburn:

1) True beauty comes from within:
This is a concept Audrey believed in strongly, and if you don't believe me here are her own words:

"The beauty in a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart; the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It’s the caring and that she lovingly gives the passion that she shows and the beauty of a woman only grows with passing years."

"For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone"

"Make-up can only make you look pretty on the outside but it doesn't help if your ugly on the inside. Unless you eat the make-up."
-Audrey Hepburn

2) The key to true charm: selflessness:
Now I'm not talking about the type of temporary charm that comes from a self-absorption so great that it draws other people in. I'm talking about true charm. The one that stands the test of time and nestles in people's hearts allowing it to remain and live on long after the woman who has that charm herself has passed on.
Here's what Audrey had to say on the matter:
"It's that wonderful old-fashioned idea that others come first and you come second. This was the whole ethic by which I was brought up. Others matter more than you do, so don't fuss, dear; get on with it. "

"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, it's at the end of your arm, as you get older, remember you have another hand: The first is to help yourself, the second is to help others. "
-Audrey Hepburn

3) Don't let hardships knock you down:
Audrey was no stranger to hardships having grown up in world war 2 Europe and suffering its effects greatly, as well as going through several abortions which left her devastated. But despite these things Audrey remained strong and did not allow circumstances to dampen or break her spirits.

"If my world were to cave in tomorrow, I would look back on all the pleasures, excitements and worthwhilenesses I have been lucky enough to have had. Not the sadness, not my miscarriages or my father leaving home, but the joy of everything else. It will have been enough. "

“I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day, and I believe in miracles”

" You can even say that I hated myself at certain periods. I was too fat, or maybe too tall, or maybe just plain too ugly ... you can say my definiteness stems from underlying feelings of insecurity and inferiority. I couldn't conquer these feelings by acting indecisive. I found the only way to get the better of them was by adopting a forceful, concentrated drive" -Audrey Hepburn

4) Enjoy the little things:
"Let's face it, a nice creamy chocolate cake does a lot for a lot of people; it does for me."

"I'm an introvert...I love being by myself, love being outdoors, love taking a long walk with my dogs and looking at the trees,flowers,the sky"

5) Be grateful:
" I've been lucky. Opportunities don't often come along. So, when they do, you have to grab them."

"I decided, very early on, just to accept life unconditionally; I never expected it to do anything special for me, yet I seemed to accomplish far more than I had ever hoped. Most of the time it just happened to me without my ever seeking it."

"Good things aren't supposed to just fall into your lap. God is very generous, but He expects you to do your part first"

6) Give back :
"Since the world has existed, there has been injustice. But it is one world, the more so as it becomes smaller, more accessible. There is just no question that there is more obligation that those who have should give to those who have nothing"

"I was born with an enormous need for affection, and a terrible need to give it."

7) Family is important:
"If I get married, I want to be very married."

   "And...I think that's what life is all about, actually about children and flowers"

8) Don't take yourself too seriously:
"I never think about myself as an icon...I just do my thing."

"The most important thing is to enjoy your life—to be happy—it's all that matters"

"I don’t take my life seriously, but I do take what I do – in my life – seriously"

9) Believe in miracles:
  "Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible"

"If I’m honest I have to tell you I still read fairy-tales and I like them best of all"

"Anyone who does not believe in miracles is not a realist"

10) Have something you love:
Audrey had a love for many things including reading and fashion.

"Some people dream of having a big swimming pool. With me, it’s closets"

"For my whole life, my favorite activity was reading. It's not the most social pastime"

And finally a summary of Audrey's life in her own words:

How shall I sum up my life? I think I've been particularly lucky. Does that have something to do with faith also? I know my mother always used to say, 'Good things aren't supposed to just fall in your lap. God is very generous, but he expects you to do your part first.' So you have to make that effort. But at the end of a bad time or a huge effort, I've always had - how shall I say it? - the prize at the end. My whole life shows that.

For more Audrey Hepburn quotes check this link out:
http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/692403.Audrey_Hepburn?format=html&page=1

I hope you enjoyed today's post and I will talk to you soon
lots of love
xoxo
Rue